Why I said yes

So I shared when and how I said yes to Tyler popping the question to marry him, but why?

Why did I say yes?

So I have been asked a few questions and I hope to answer most of them on this blog.

Questions like:
Why are we getting married so soon?
How do you know he is the one?
How do you know that you love him?
Is he the one you want to be with the rest of your life? How do you know?

First let me ask you this,

Why marriage?
Why is there marriage?
Why does marriage exist?
Why do we exist?
The answer to all these questions, including the one about marriage is, according to John Piper:
“All of them exist to and for the glory of God and to magnify the truth and worth and beauty and greatness of God. Not the way a microscope magnifies, but the way a telescope magnifies, by making unimaginably big things look like what they really are.”

So the reason and purpose of marriage is to magnify the truth and worth and beauty and greatness of God.

I heard over and over again and believe that marriage is a model of Christ and the church, but it is more than just that.

I hope and pray that our marriage is more than just a representation of Christ and the church.

I hope it lifts the definition of marriage out of twisted sitcom images and gives it the magnificent meaning God meant it to have.

I hope it gives not just our marriage a solid basis in grace, since Christ obtained and sustains his bride by grace alone, but shows others how to do the same in theirs.

I hope it shows that the husband’s headship and the wife’s submission are crucial and crucified and that they are woven into the very meaning of marriage as a display of Christ and the church, but they are both defined by Christ’s self-denying work on the cross so that pride and slavishness are cancelled.

Adapted from the 2007 sermon “Marriage: God’s Showcase of Covenant-Keeping Grace.”

Tyler and I have been reading This Momentary Marriage by John Piper. Together we have learned and have been reminded why we are in this relationship and why we are getting married.

We both have our selfish worldly reasons to get married deep down in side I’m sure, but if those reason were what gave us hope and purpose then our marriage wouldn’t last long at all because all things of this world are temporary. Marriage isn’t forever it is just a picture, reflection, preview, small glimpse, of the relationship with our creator and who He is, and He is eternal, He is forever, not our marriage.

Relationships are hard.

REAL hard.

To be honest, at least once a week I want to give up and run away, literally.

It is hard and will continue to be hard, but who said it supposed to be easy.

Commitment isn’t easy.

Living like Jesus isn’t a walk in the park, its more like a walk through the desert with no shoes food or water.

Yet He is our living water, He is our food and our comfort. Alone it is hard, with Him we can do it.

But if we take our eyes off of Him and focus on things that our momentary that only give temporary happiness we will become discouraged and give up.

So where does our satisfaction rest in?
Our spouse?
Our Job?
Our health?
Our children?
Our Friends?
Our Family?

They are all going to fail you and frustrate you and hurt you.

Piper says, “Superior satisfaction in God above all earthly things, including your spouse and your health and your own life (Psalm 63:3, ESV, “your steadfast love is better than life”) is the source of great long-suffering without which husbands cannot love like Christ, and wives cannot follow like the bride of Christ, the church. Ephesians 5:22–25 makes plain that husbands take their cues of leadership and love from Christ, and wives take their cues of submission and love from the devotion of the church for whom he died. And both of those complementary acts of love — to lead, and to submit — are unsustainable for the glory of God without a superior satisfaction in all that God is for us in Christ.”

So why did I say yes after over 4 years of singleness, after reading Paul’s writing about being single and writing blogs about singleness, and after finally being content in my singleness? Why Marry him? How do you do he is the one?

Why did I say yes?

> I want to get married, although there are days where I really do miss my singleness, most if not all of those times is because I’m being selfish.

I love him.
He loves me.

> There are tons of cute little reasons I can mention, like how he makes me laugh and smile with the way he randomly breaks out in song or the way he kisses my forehead and how I feel when he holds me tight.

> There are also pretty practical reasons that are very important when deciding to marry like that we both have a calling to full time ministry. So we are going in the same direction and we are choosing to journey together instead of apart.

> We are also choosing marriage and marriage sooner not later because we desire to have sex and we believe that sex belongs in a covenant marriage relationship with the ultimate purpose to make babies as well as a form of worship to the Lord. (If this is new to you, please ask questions and comment!) Sex was created by God to bring God glory just as marriage was.

We decided not to kiss until our wedding day (although really hard and I don’t discourage or encourage anyone to do the same, let the Lord lead in that), but other than kissing we have stayed pure in other ways as well. Don’t get me wrong, there have been times where we have been tempted and more than once we have stuck our feet in deep water, but the Lord has been faithful to keep us away from pushing boundaries and keep us pure. Staying away from anything sexual has pushed us to communicate our feelings, our fears, our desires, and enjoy each other everything in the time we have together and there is nothing sexual about it.

Yes, we are sexually attracted to each other and I believe that is important in a relationship, but we believe that its for marriage. (Tangent sorry)

So other reason why I said yes.

> He hasn’t left me and he hasn’t given up on me no matter how many times I have hurt him, pushed him away, run away, and given up on him. He reminds me of God’s love for me daily and even though he isn’t perfect and I can’t expect him to ever be, together we grow closer to the Lord and become more like Jesus. When we bring out the bad in each other, the Lord shows us our sin and then says I covered that with my blood. Just as gold is refined in the flame and all the impurities come up so they can be scooped away to make the gold pure, that is what relationships do. Especially in a marriage because you are pushed to face your problems because you are now in the covenant relationship that under the Lord’s promise no man shall separate and it gets ugly so that the Lord can make it beautiful!

> So, I don’t believe in “the one” for one.

I believe in God’s sovereignty and I believe that He knew we would be together, but I also know people make mistakes and God allows that although it doesn’t surprise Him.
If we believe that we married the wrong person we will always have doubt and be looking for “the one” when “the one” is the one you marry, period.

> Tyler is the one, because he is the one I will be marry and he is the one I have chosen to spend the rest of my life with.

> When I said yes to being his girlfriend, I said yes to being engaged, and I said yes to marriage.
I didn’t really understand it to its fullest at the time, but the commitment we made to each other was just that. No matter how hard it got, no matter how much we would fight, we would choose to fight with each other the rest of our lives and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

So whether or not he is a bad kisser or a good one (wont find out until 12/14/14) I’m committed to him with my life just as us the church should be committed to following Jesus for the rest of our lives.

I said yes because I have chosen to journey along side this imperfect man for the rest of my life to represent the gospel and the love that Jesus has for us by the Lord’s grace and not by anything good we have done, but because of His divine sovereignty love.

He is the one I have chosen suffer along side, have children with, cry with, have fun with, explore with, learn with, teach with, pray with, watch sports with, cook with, clean for, and love for the rest of my life.